How to deal with travel anxiety

Hello my loves!

Today I want to talk about something with you guys that is extremely close to my heart! Growing up, I was always taught that I should be fearless and confident going into any situation and for the most part thats how I have always taken life. I have gone about it without giving a damn about how things would turn out. However, the one thing that has always held me back is my intense phobia of heights.
I remember looking down from the 4th floor of our apartment window and feeling dizzy and nauseous. I had the tendency to picture the worst case scenario (me falling to my death) and quickly grabbing something for safety as my heart raced. That - I thought and so did everyone around me - would pass as time went by. However, it got uglier with time. As a child we used to travel during every holiday opporunity and flying was always a scary concept to me. Having to sit in an airplane as it went through bouts of turbulence was enough to make me cry, but back then our trips seemed better because I always had family to hold my hand to comfort me or the flight wouldn't be too long and I became a bit more relaxed about it.
Then I moved to China for my studies. My flights have been everywhere from being 12 hours long (minimum) and 22 hours long (maximum), and this is without the transit times. Over the years, some unsavory flights have left me completely broken and with crippling anxiety to the point that i have cried for many hours before boarding a flight, during the flight and my anxiety has left me sleepless for months in advance.
I take pride in the fact that I could keep my head and heart in a positive state of mind no matter what the situation, but after an 8 hour long flight (turbulent to hell and back), I had my first panic attack. I remember sitting in the plane, clueless about what was happening and why the plane hadn't stopped shaking convulsively for hours, I kept praying to god that I had reached my limit of tolerance and couldn't take it anymore and begged for him to make the flight a bit more smooth. What was worse though, was that nobody was seated next to me and since it was unexpected and extreme turbulence, an airhostess sat next to me and spoke to me about how a plane had just crashed and that the weather was brutal due to the monsoon season. I had never been so terrified in my whole life. After I got off that flight, I had to board another 7 hour long flight. That was when I hit my breaking point. I just couldn't do it again. I cried a lot. I spoke to my mom for hours (had a 12 hour transit), who convinced me to board and I finally got home.
This was two years ago and I still haven't recovered from it. But have I traveled since? Well, yes. 8 times in fact. Has the journey always been easy? No it hasn't. I still cry. Still get severe anxiety. So much that I decided to see a therapist about it (didn't end up going though).
However, I have tips that work for me and I hope work for you too, if you are in the same boat :)

So the first thing I do is, stay away from any information about plane crashes, because even though someone is mentioning it casually to me now, i know for a fact that I will remember it vaguely when my plane goes through a rough patch (and yes, there is almost ALWAYS a rough patch). NOTHING is worse than remembering something awful vaguely, because you automatically relate it to your own situation and wonder if the same would happen to you. So thats step number 1.

The next step is to educate yourself as much as you can. This works for me because I can comfort myself on the basis of facts and not just words. I now know that planes are made to withstand extremely bad weather conditions (the kind that rarely exist), so a little change in pressure, or a stormy day might make your flight uncomfortable but it definitely won't strike you down. I know that going higher up in the altitude makes the flight less turbulent, so when I am sitting there in a panic, I KNOW whats going on and I am not just freaking out scared of the unknown.
What I do next is, I make sure I speak to friends and family who I know will be able to comfort me even when I can't comfort myself. I also keep a stash of pictures of people or celebrities in planes and keep reminding myself that they made it and so would I. lmao.

One of the most important things that I have started doing recently that has helped me a lot is speaking to the crew. Everytime I board the plane, I do let them know about my fear and whenever there is turbulence they always come around and reassure me that everything would be fine. Infact speaking to them over the years and hearing about their experiences has always helped me and comforted me. Some of them have been extremely kind. Like Anna Marie from Etihad Airways, who came to me every time I was scared and held my hand and told me I was very brave to conquer my fears. She is the eptiome of what every airhostess should be. And I am always looking out for her every time I board a plane. However, you will always find nice crew in planes, ready to help you out so do make the effort to talk to them.

One thing that doesn't really work for me anymore but might work for others is taking a sleeping pill. It used to work for me, but over the last 2-3 years since my anxiety has become worse, no amount of sleeping pills can make me sleep. lol. It is good to make you relax a bit though. So I would recommend taking it once in a while (not if you are a frequent flier with short durations of flights though) :)

And the last and most important thing that helps me is having faith in God. Long before I started trying other things, the only thing that could get me through a long flight was praying to God and asking for his help. And it always worked. Reading duas or listening to recitation is the only thing at times that has kept me calm. It has a way of grounding you and engulfing you in comfort. And there's no better time to ask Allah for forgiveness, to take a look outside the window and see what a beautiful world he has made for us, and to let yourself go and know that your life is never really in your own control but always his. That being in that plane and feeling helpless is just a metaphor for life and how it always comes down to what has been planned for you. It is when I think like this that I become fearless again. And I think, If Allah is with me and he has planned this then let whatever come my way and I will deal with it. :)

Not all of this may work for you guys. Maybe some of you would never know what it feels like to have anxiety about this (in which case you guys are lucky). However I wanted to write about my personal struggle and I hope that with this, I can reach out and help people who are in my situation, or learn from others who have already conquered their fears.

Anyways, I couldn't end this post without talking about travel outfits and fashion tips. I like to keep everything pretty basic and most of all comfortable. No high heels. No make up. Just a pair of stylish boyfriend jeans, a comfortable top and sneakers. Make sure you carry sunglasses with you to hide the dark circles you have newly acquired by not sleeping for a month due to your travel anxiety. lmao. Or you could do what I do, and just wear some nice lipstick in the airplane bathroom 10 minutes before you land. Lipsticks have a way of making you look put together and that's why they are the only thing you need (along with sunglasses), unless you are landing at night, and the sunglasses are a no go in which case, keep some medium coverage concealer handy. :)

One more tip which is neither fashion/beauty nor anxiety related, is to keep a small carry-on with some basic necessities, important or valuable things and 2 pairs of clothes with you at all times. Losing your luggage or misplacing it is troubling enough on its own to have to do it without a single change of clothes. lol.